Eyona ndlela yokuSabela xa umntu ekhwaza kuwe ngomsindo

Eyona ndlela yokuSabela xa umntu ekhwaza kuwe ngomsindo

Ingxolo sisihloko esifanelekileyo kuwo wonke umntu kule planethi kuba wonke umntu uliphakamisile ilizwi lakhe ngomsindo ngexesha lokuphila kwabo. Abanye abantu bayakhala rhoqo, kodwa sonke sinetyala lokungxola ngaxa lithile ebomini. Kukho iindlela zokuphendula ngokungacacanga ezinokuzisasaza, endaweni yokuqhubeka nokunyusa imeko.

Ukukhala akunampilo kubudlelwane kwaye iziphumo zazo azivelisi iziphumo ezincomekayo zexesha elide. Umntu unokuvuma ukuya kumntwana okwangoku ukuba ayeke ukukhala, kodwa nje ukuba izinto zibuyele esiqhelweni, ziye zibuyele umva, kuba ukukhala akutshintshanga ixesha labo lokucinga. Umzekelo, uMama okhwaza abantwana bakhe ukuba bathathe iithoyi zabo kunokubangela ukuba abantwana bathabathe iithoyi zabo ngalo mzuzu. Nangona kunjalo, ayizukutshintsha indlela abacinga ngayo ukuba kufuneka bathathe iithoyi zabo ngokungaguquguqukiyo. Abantwana baya kufunda ukuqokelela ukuba babenembuyekezo okanye inkqubo yohlwayo kwaye bayakuqonda ukubaluleka kunye nexabiso lokuchola iithoyi zabo.



Ukukhwaza kuyonakalisa ubudlelwane. Ayisiyondlela eyakhayo yokujongana nemeko enzima, ukanti wonke umntu uyangxola. Abanye ngaphezulu kwabanye. Kuya kufuneka ukuba uyazi ukuba ungxola kangakanani, uqonde ukuba kutheni abanye abantu behlala bekhula, kwaye wazi nokuba ungajongana njani neller.

Xa umntu ehlala ekungxolisa ebomini, babonisa ubuzwilakhe ngokweemvakalelo kuwe. Injongo yabo kukufumana isandla esingaphezulu kule meko kwaye ukukhwaza yindlela yabo yokufumana ulawulo kuwe. Luhlobo oluthile lokoyikisa. Ukukhwaza kunokusebenza okwethutyana. Nangona kunjalo, ukuzinza kwexesha elide kweziphumo zokukhwaza akulungile, kuba yindlela yokungcungcuthekisa umntu ukuba abenze benze le nto iller ifuna yenziwe. Ukukhwaza akunampilo kubudlelwane, enyanisweni kuyaphula unxibelelwano olusempilweni kunye nokusondela kobudlelwane.



Kutheni Abantu Bangxola?

Umsindo yiasidi enokwenzakalisa ngakumbi inqanawa egcinwe kuyo kunayo nantoni na ethelwa kuyo. -UMark Twain

Xa umntu enomsindo kwaye ekhala, kukho izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokuba uyangxola. Uninzi lwezizathu zokuba kutheni bengxola azizizo izizathu ezifanelekileyo zokukhwaza, ke ngoko kubalulekile ukuba umamkeli asabele ngokuchanekileyo, okungakumbi ngokungasebenzi. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umntu ekhwaza, kuba amaxesha amaninzi Ukukhwaza kubonisa imiba kwi-psyche yengqondo yaloo mntu engenanto yokwenza nommkeli wokukhwaza. Ukukhwaza kwabo kukubonakalisa ukungazinzi ngokweemvakalelo, nangona ukukhwaza kwabo kuhlose ukubonisa ukomelela kunye nolawulo kwimeko. Apha ngezantsi zezinye zezizathu zokuba umntu akhale xa enomsindo:



Izakhono zokulwa kakubi

Abantu abaninzi bayangxola kuba yindlela yabo yokujongana neemeko ezinzima. Kodwa le ndlela yokujongana nayo ayinaziphumo zilungileyo zexesha elide. Ukuba umntu uyala ngenxa yokuba befunde indlela yokujongana nobomi, kufuneka afumane uncedo lokufumana iindlela ezingcono zokulawula iimvakalelo zakhe. Banokuba besebenzisa ukudubuleka ngokweemvakalelo njengendlela yabo yokujongana ebomini kwaye oku akunampilo kubo okanye kwabo bafumana ukwaphuka kwabo.

iimpawu zomntu olawulayo

Ukuphulukana nolawulo

Umntu unokuba engacacanga kuba eziva belahlekile kulawulo kwimeko. Banokuphazanyiswa ziingcinga, iimvakalelo, kunye neemvakalelo kwaye bafumana ilahleko yolawulo kuzo zonke ezi zinto ngaxeshanye. Sisiphithiphithi esikhulu kubo, ke bayakhwaza ukuzama ukufumana ulawulo lwento abahlangabezana nayo. Baswele izakhono ezifanelekileyo zokujamelana kwakhona ukuze baphinde bazive belawula imeko kunye nemeko ezijikeleze bona, ke babhenela ekungxoliseni ukuze bazive belawula. Banokulufumana olo lawulo, kodwa kuhlala nje okwethutyana, kuba uninzi lweengxaki azisombululeki ngokukhwaza. Umntu unokubonakala emncoma lo mntu ungaphantsi, ukumzolisa, kodwa enyanisweni akukho nto isombululekileyo ixesha elide.

Ndiziva ndisoyikiswa

Abahlukumezi bahlala bengabantu abanesimo sengqondo esibuhlungu kwaye bazama ukukhusela loo nto. Nanini na xa becinga ukuba le nto isemngciphekweni iyasongelwa bayasabela. Ukukhwaza sisixhobo esinye abasisebenzisayo nangaliphi na ixesha baziva besoyikiswa.



Utyekelo olundlongondlongo

Abanye abantu bangabantu abanengcwangu. Banokukhwaza kwaye ubundlongondlongo bunokuya kunyuka nengxabano yomzimba. Kunqabile ukuba ubone umlo ongokwenyama ongaqali ngamazwi aphakanyisiweyo, ekhwaza, okanye ekhwaza. Ukuba umntu uyakhwaza kuwe kwaye awumazi kakuhle lo mntu, kuya kufuneka ulumke ukuba ukukhwaza kungakhokelela kukungqubana komzimba.Intengiso

Kubalulekile ukunqanda ukusabela ngqwabalala kumntu oqaqadayo, kuba kufana nokugalela iparafini emlilweni womsindo wabo kwaye izinto zinokuba ngokwasemzimbeni. Kungenzeka ukuba ube ngumzimba ukuba banolu tyekelo kwaye uzibonakalise ukukhala kwabo.

Ukuziphatha okufundiweyo

Abanye abantu baba ngamarhamncwa ngenxa yokuba bekhulele kwikhaya apho abazali babo babekhwaza rhoqo. Bafundile ukuba xa kuvela iingxabano, kunjalo nangamazwi. Abakhange bafunde indlela yokuziphatha efanelekileyo xa bejamelene nengxabano kunye neemeko ezinzima. Ukukhwaza bekusoloko kuyindlela abasabela ngayo kwiimeko apho bafumana naluphi na uhlobo lwesiphithiphithi.

Ndiziva ndingahoywanga

Abanye abantu baphakamisa amazwi abo kwaye bakhwaza ngomsindo kuba beva ukuba omnye umntu akabaphulaphuli. Banokuthi baphinde bawuphindaphinde umyalezo wabo kwaye ekugqibeleni babhenele kukungxola ngomsindo kuba omnye umntu engaphendulanga kwelinye ilizwi labo. Oku kuhlala kunjalo ukukhwaza ngelixa ungumzali. Abazali baziva ngathi abantwana babo abamameli, ke endaweni yokuba bahlale bephindaphinda, bayangxolisa abantwana babo. Ingxaki kukuba oku kuyaboyikisa abantwana. Ukukhwaza ngomsindo nako kuyonakalisa kakhulu abantwana kwaye uphando lubonisa ukuba kunokuba yingozi njengokuxhatshazwa emzimbeni.

Ukuba ufuna ukwazi indlela yokubazolisa abantwana bakho xa bengxola, funda oku: Ekuphela kwendlela esebenzayo yokuNxibelelana nabantwana xa besenza umdlalo weqonga

Ukuphendula ukuze kuthintelwe ngeYeller

Eyona mpendulo imbi kakhulu kumntwana obubambeleyo kukuzibonakalisa kwindlela abaziphethe ngayo. Izinto azihambi kakuhle xa ukhwaza umntu okungxolayo. Le meko iya isanda xa bobabini abantu bekhwaza. Kukho ezinye izinto ezinokuthi zonyuse imeko ekufuneka ukuba ithintelwe kwaye ibandakanye: ukubamba umntu opholileyo, ukuphikisa oko bakuthethayo, ukuzikhusela, nokugxeka umntu ngexesha lokujongana.Intengiso

indlela yokunamathela kuhlahlo-lwabiwo mali

Kukho iindlela ezingcono zokujongana nomntu ongaqinisekanga. Apha ngezantsi kukho amanyathelo ekufuneka uwasebenzise ukuphatha kwaye ngethemba lokusasaza into engacacanga.

1. Hlala uzolile kwaye ungazondli ngomsindo wabo. Khumbula ukuba xa umntu ekhwaza, ayinguwe onengxaki, ngabo. Banobuchule bokukopisha okanye esinye isizathu sokukhwaza esingenanto yakwenza nawe buqu. Ukuba usabela baya kusabela kwindlela osabela ngayo kwaye izinto ziya kuqhubeka zisanda. Hlala uzolile, nokuba uyabila ngaphakathi. Akufanelekanga ukondla ukungxola kwabo, njengoko imeko iya isiba mandundu kwaye izinto azifane zisonjululwe xa amaqela amabini ekhwaza omnye komnye. Iingxaki kunokwenzeka ukuba zisonjululwe xa kusetyenziswa iithowuni ezizolileyo. Yiba yinxalenye yesisombululo kwaye ungabi yingxaki ngokuhlala uzolile kwaye usebenzisa ilizwi elipholileyo.

2. Thatha amanyathelo ngengqondo umva ukuvavanya imeko. Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe naliphi na inyathelo kule meko, yima kancinci engqondweni ukuvavanya izinto. Oku kuyakuvumela ukuba ufumanise ukuba kufanelekile ukulinda i-yeller okanye ushiye imeko. Ukuba uyangxoliswa ngumntu oqhelene naye kwaye awukhathali nokuba uyabakhubekisa ngokuhamba umke kubo, ke ngandlela zonke hamba. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uzithobe ekuphathweni gadalala kunye nokuphathwa kakubi ukuba akubalulekanga ebomini bakho. Ukuba ngumphathi wakho ekungxolisa kwaye uyazi ukuba ukuhamba ngelixa umphathi wakho ekhwaza isivakalisi esiphakathi kunokukuhlawula umsebenzi, mhlawumbi kuya kufuneka ucinge ngokukulinda kwaye ujongane nokukhwaza kunye nomphathi kamva ukuba yinto ehlala iqhubeka kwaye ngoku iphazamisa amandla akho okusebenza ngokufanelekileyo.

3. Ungavumelani nelivila ukuba ulisasaze, njengoko likhuthaza ukungxola kwixa elizayo. Ukuba uyavumelana neller ukuba ubasasaze kwaye emva koko uvume ukwenza into okanye uthethe into abayicelayo, uyayekelela ukungxola kwabo. Ngokwamkeleka kumntu ongxolayo kuwe, kuyabakhuthaza kuphela ukuba bakungxolise ukuze ufumane indlela yabo kwixa elizayo. Luphephe olu hlobo lwendlela yokusasaza, iya kubuya ikulume kwakhona kwixesha elizayo kwaye uya kuzifumanisa uphantsi kokukhwaza rhoqo.

4. Zola xa ukhwaza. Kwiimeko ezininzi xa kukho umntu ongxolayo kuwe, iimvakalelo zakho ziyakhutshwa kwaye uzive ufuna ukusabela. Ukuphendula ngokungxola, ukugxeka, okanye ezinye iimpendulo ezingathandekiyo kuya kuyonyusa imeko, kuya kufuneka wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukubuyela kwiingcinga nakwiimvakalelo zakho ukuze ukwazi ukujongana nengxaki yokwenyani. Yazisa loo mntu ukuba awuyi kwamkela ukungxoliswa, nokuba ithini imeko okanye ingxaki. Yitsho ngokuthobekileyo nangokuzolileyo, kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba ube nempendulo elungileyo, njengokucela uxolo okanye ubuncinci ubenze bazi ukuba bayangxola. Abanye abantu abaziqondi nokuba bayangxola. Emva koko inyathelo lakho elilandelayo kukucela ikhefu kulo mntu.Intengiso

5. Cela ikhefu kulo mntu. Emva kokuba uzolile ngokuthula, inyathelo elilandelayo kukucela ukuba uthathe ikhefu kulo mntu ucinge. Ungadinga nexesha lokuzola, njengoko ukukhwaza kwabo kubangele ukuba iadrenaline yakho inyukele phezulu esibhakabhakeni kwaye awazi ukuba ungayibamba ixesha elingakanani ngaphakathi. Xa ucela ikhefu emntwini, kufanele ukuba ibe ngaphezulu kwengxelo kunombuzo, ngakumbi ukuba ayinguye umphathi wakho. Ukuba liqabane, umhlobo, okanye omnye umntu, kwamkelekile ngokupheleleyo ukuba uchaze ukuba udinga ikhefu kunye nexesha (imizuzu embalwa, usuku, okanye nantoni na oyifunayo) yokucinga izinto ukuze uphendule ngokufanelekileyo nangokuzolileyo.

6. Xa uziva ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zidambile, kwaye uyazi ukuba ungayilungisa njani na loo nto bebeyikhwaza ngayo, ungabuyela emva kwakhona ukuze uthethe nalo mntu. Zinike ixesha lokuqhubekeka nemeko, kuthethwe ntoni, kwaye ufuna ukuphendula njani. Kwezinye iimeko, umzekelo ubudlelwane bobukhwe, oku kungathatha iintsuku ezimbalwa njengoko iimvakalelo zinokuthatha ixesha elide ukuba ziyekwe. Ukuba ngumphathi kwaye uyazi ukuba awunakuhlala phantsi komcimbi ixesha elide kuba kukho amaxesha amisiweyo okanye umsebenzi wakho usengozini, emva koko sebenzisa iindlela ezithile zokuthomalalisa ezinje ngokuphefumla okunzulu okanye iindlela zokubonisa ukwenza imeko ngokukhawuleza, ukuze ufumane ndibuyela kubo kwakamsinya kunakwelixa elizayo. Nazi iingcebiso ezi-3 zoPhefumlo oluSebenzayo.

Ukuqhubela phambili kwiiMeko eziBhetele

Ngenxa yokuba uthathe ixesha lokwazisa umntu ukuba ukukhala akwamkelekanga kwaye uthathe ixesha emntwini emva kokukhwaza, mancinci amathuba okuba umntu angxole ngoku. Ukuba bafuna ukuqhubela phambili ngesihloko, baya kudinga ukuhlala bezolile ukuze baxoxe ngesihloko kunye nawe. Ayisiyokuzimela nje kwaye ubonise lo mntu ukuba awuzukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemphefumlweni, ukwabanceda babone ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo ayamkelekanga. Ukuba abantu abaninzi bayenzile le nto xa umntu ebangxolisa, sonke siya kuba kwimeko yokuphepha ukukhwaza kwasekuqaleni.

Ukuba ukukhwaza yinto ebisiqhelo kwaye ikhondo lakho elitsha lezenzo alitshintshanga indlela abaziphethe ngayo, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba ubacele ukuba bahlale phantsi baxoxe ngokukhwaza kwabo. Xa sele uhlale phantsi yazisa loo mntu ukuba ukungqubana kukuchaphazela njani. Umzekelo, uziva ulusizi ngokunzulu emva kwesiqendu esingxolayo kwaye awufuni ukuba phakathi kwabo okwethutyana. Kananjalo babazise ukuba buchaphazela njani ubudlelwane bakho. Umzekelo, oko kudala umsantsa weemvakalelo phakathi kwakho nabo. Ukuba baphendula naloo nto ndinguye mabazise ukuba ayamkelekanga.

Abanye abantu nabo abazi ukuba batshintshe njani indlela abaziphethe ngayo. Uncedo lobungcali (njengonyango, iingcebiso, okanye iiklasi zolawulo lomsindo) ziyafumaneka kubantu abanemicimbi yokukhwaza. Kuya kufuneka baqonde ukuba ingxaki ichaphazela ubudlelwane babo kwaye utshintsho luyafuneka ukuze bapholise ubudlelwane.Intengiso

Ukukhwaza kubangela umonakalo, ke musa ukuvumela ukuba baqhubeke bekonakalisa wena okanye ubudlelwane bakho ngokunyamezela ukukhwaza kwabo.